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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Unappreciated !



I have talked about women for the past few weeks and have emphasized time and again that women do not get enough appreciation for all that they do. Well today again continuing with the theme I talk about the unappreciated and under estimation of women.

 Instead of writing about all the great things women are doing the world over I decided to go with the building blocks of our world – Mothers.
Yes, the lady that makes us all what we become, beyond the education, the degrees, the accolades and the big projects and the winner at the top. 

Our Mom’s who instill the virtues and vices within each of us.
Today I share a message doing rounds on Whats app urging all of to appreciate the hard work mothers put it trying to raise us right.

I overheard this conversation at the counter waiting for my turn
The officer at the driving license counter asked the lady, what is your occupation?
The woman seeking renewal of her license seemed to be puzzled.
So the officer said, maam, are you employed....have your own business or...
The woman replied oh, yes!! I have a full time occupation. I am a mother.

Officer: We don’t have mother as an option for occupation. I will write it down as housewife. That takes care of all questions.
This had happened long ago, and was forgotten. Years later when I went to get my license, the public relations officer was a somewhat pompous woman.

What is your occupation?  She asked in a rather authoritative tone. I just had an inspiration and replied I am a researcher in the field of child development, nutrition and inter-personal relationships.

The lady officer stared at me in amazement. I calmly repeated my statement, and she wrote it down verbatim. Then, unable to conceal her curiosity, she politely asked, what exactly do you do in your profession, Maam ?

I was feeling good about having described my occupation so calmly and confidently. So I replied, my research projects have been going on for a number of years (mothers never retire!!).

My research is conducted in the laboratory as well as in the field. I have two bosses. (One is god and the other is my entire family).

I have received two honors in this field (a son and a daughter). My topic is considered to be the most difficult part of sociology (all moms will agree!!).
I have to work more than 14 hours every day. Sometimes even 24 hours are not enough and the challenges are tougher than many other professions. My compensation is in terms of mental satisfaction rather than money. I could see that the officer was thoroughly impressed.

After completing the licensing formalities, she came to the door to see me off. This new viewpoint about my occupation made me feel much better on my way back home. I was welcomed by my 5 year old research assistant at the door. My new project (my 6 month old baby) was energetically practicing her music.

I had earned a small victory over the governmental red tape today. I was no longer merely a mother. Instead I was now a highly placed functionary in a service vital for mankind - Motherhood!!

Mother; - isn't it a great title. Fit to be added to the nameplate on the door!!

 By this standard, Grandmothers deserve to be called Senior Research Officers, and Great Grandmothers qualify as Research Directors. Aunts and other ladies of that age group can be called Research Facilitators.

Please Share This With All Mothers, Grandmothers, Great Grandmothers, All Husbands, Fathers!!

Our mothers not only work for us when they are telling us, grooming us and teaching us but also when we just sit by her knee watching her and sharing love.


Go and do it right now and  remind her of what a marvelous person she is.
So did you appreciate your Mom today?





Through the month of April I am writing  along with over 2000 participants for the A to Z Challenge and the Ultimate BlogChallenge. My theme for the Alphabet Challenge is WOMEN. Her multi-dimensional, multi-talented, multi-tasking avatars. The good, the bad and the ugly; everything you wanted to find out about women and what makes them tick!!  

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Tyranny of Tears!!


How many times have conversations dissolved into a tub of tears?

When you tried to speak about something important  and it gets drowned in a flood of tears?

Does your family tell you to control your tears?

Are you told by your partner that you don’t fight fair and tears always spoil any argument and he gives up?

As children we always see little girls and boys burst into tears at a drop of a hat. It is a habit we hope they will slowly outgrow.

Just as much as the men are stuck with their ‘stiff upper lip’ syndrome are the ladies caught in the ‘tyranny of tears’.

Men are always confounded by the tears that threaten to flood any sane conversation, leaving them wondering that is there a way to get their point across without upsetting the waterworks??

Tears are the first sign of weakness as well as the strongest weapon in the arsenal of women. Whether they are happy or sad, joyful or disappointed, success or failure; all are occasions for tears.

Tears might define a woman but they also weaken her stand, get her thoughts muddled and confuse the issue. Men hesitate to say anything that would upset her, friends and family shun away from any strong discussions and people shelter her from the realities of life.

Are tears your first line of defense or your last resort?


I say get a hold of those tears women!!

Stem the flow, stop the flood.

Let your words be your weapon;

Let your sentences confound your opponents;

Let your logic be undeniable;

Let your points be faultless and let your mind and heart support your decision and discussions.

Let us be known for ruling our emotions and channeling our tears for our healing and sharing.


Through the month of April I am writing  along with over 2000 participants for the A to Z Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My theme for the Alphabet Challenge is WOMEN. Her multi-dimensional, multi-talented, multi-tasking avatars. The good, the bad and the ugly; everything you wanted to find out about women and what makes them tick!! 






Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Self Care for Self Nurturing.

   
Self Care is something I endorse every woman set aside during her very busy and rushed day.

It is those few minutes or hours you take out just for yourself and not feel guilty about it.

All women need some time for self care and there by self nurturing.

If you search the net for the meaning of this term you will find a wealth of articles written on it, all urging women to take time out for themselves and not feel guilty.

Do something just for yourself once a day, every day! It is easier said than done!!

When the day feels to busy as if you are squeezed for time, stuck so tight that you can’t breathe. That is the time to stop and smell the roses so to say.

In our lives we need to have a few moments for ourselves doing the things we like.
·       A cup of tea while sitting and relaxing.
·       Reading a book for some time.
·       Go for the movie you have been waiting for.
·       Call up and chat with your friends
·       Revisit your hobbies.
·       Try and learn something new.
·       Spend some alone time with your partner.
   
   There are so many more things that you can do to unwind and relax and all of them will help you get in touch with your inner free spirit.

Self awareness for self nurturing with self care.


Through the month of April I am writing  along with over 2000 participants for the A to Z Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My theme for the Alphabet Challenge is WOMEN. Her multi-dimensional, multi-talented, multi-tasking  avatars. The good, the bad and the ugly; every thing you wanted to find out about women and what makes them tick!!  




Monday, April 21, 2014

RESILIENT RAG DOLLS

  
Women are the backbone of every house, every society and every country in this whole world. If someone says that women are not equally important or more in a relation, they are wrong.

Yet what we hear at so many times across so many places is the total neglect and abuse of women everywhere.

No matter what ever a woman does, how much she accomplishes there are people waiting to judge her and tell her she is not good enough.

As women we are taught to bear it, be silent and let it pass as all these experiences will make us stronger. We as women are the wiser sex, made to understand to hold out tongue, hold our thoughts, our feelings and our passions.

I do not believe it – I think it is bullshit fed to the girls so they don’t outshine the boys and men. They are taught to absorb every insult, abuse and put down so it becomes a second nature for them. They continue to be subservient to men.



A very popular quote that I think encourages both the positive and negative is, “Women are like teabags, they show their true colors when put in hot water”.

Yes it speaks of great strength of a woman and her resilience but at the same time, why we have to put her in ‘hot water’?

Do we talk of putting men in hot water? Or testing them in any manner for that matter???

Right from time immemorial the women have been put to tests for their image, their love, their truth, their honesty and even their lives ???

What it makes them, are dolls – Ragdolls but Resilient Ragdolls.

In spite of all the mishandling they strive and survive and mange to stand tall.

This song by Aerosmith resonates with my thoughts and words for today’s alphabet.

Resilient Ragdolls……like the Diamonds we all love – sparkling and shining in spite of all the hardships.




RAG DOLL LYRICS by AEROSMITH


Rag Doll, livin' in a movie
Hot tramp, Daddy's little cutie
So fine, they'll never see ya
Leavin' by the back door, man
Hot time, get it while it's easy
Don't mind, come on up and see me
Rag Doll, baby won't you do me
Like you done before

I'm feelin' like a bad boy
Mmm, just like a bad boy
I'm rippin' up a Rag Doll
Like throwing away an old toy
Some babe's talkin' real loud
Talkin' all about the new crowd
Try and sell me on an old dream
A new version of the old scene
Speak easy on the grape vine
Keep shovelin' the shoe shine
Old tin lizzy, do it till you're dizzy
Give it all ya got until you're put out of your misery

(Chorus)
Rag Doll, livin' in a movie
Hot tramp, Daddy's little cutie
So fine, they'll never see ya
Leavin' by the back door, man
Hot time, get it while it's easy
Don't mind, come on up and see me
Rag Doll, baby won't you do me
Like you done before

Yes, I'm movin', Yes I'm movin'
get ready for the big time
Tap dancing on a land mine
Yes I'm movin', Yes I'm movin'
Old tin lizzy, do it till you're dizzy
Give it all ya got until you're put out of your misery

(Chorus)
Rag Doll, livin' in a movie
Hot tramp, Daddy's little cutie
So fine, they'll never see ya
Leavin' by the back door, man
Hot time, get it while it's easy
Don't mind, come on up and see me
Rag Doll, baby won't you do me, baby won't you do me, baby won't you do me...
Like you done before (huh huh)

Yes, I'm movin', Yes I'm movin'
Get ready for the big time
I get crazy on the moonshine
Yes, I'm movin', I'm really movin'

Slow gin fizzy
Do it till you're dizzy
Give it all you got until you're put out of your misery

(Repeat Chorus)
Rag Doll, livin' in a movie
Hot tramp, Daddy's little cutie
So fine, they'll never see ya
Leavin' by the back door, man
Hot time, get it while it's easy
Don't mind, come on up and see me
Rag Doll, baby won't you do me
Like you done before

Rag Doll, livin' in a movie
Hot tramp, Daddy's little cutie
So fine, they'll never see ya
Leavin' by the back door, man
Hot time, get it while it's easy
Don't mind, come on up and see me
Rag Doll, baby won't you do me
Like you done before.


Do you think we women are a resilient lot ?
Have you faced any hardships that made you a stronger person?


Through the month of April I am writing  along with over 2000 participants for the A to Z Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My theme for the Alphabet Challenge is WOMEN. Her multi-dimensional, multi-talented, multi-tasking  avatars. The good, the bad and the ugly; every thing you wanted to find out about women and what makes them tick!!


Sunday, April 20, 2014

CONTENT MILL CRAZINESS!!

Content Mills are the some thing that all of us have encountered sometime in our writing career. After a lot of deliberate thought I decided to finally share my experience or the lack of it for writing for Content Mills.

Early in my freelance writing career I encountered this Mail and the reactions and sentiments of others made me realize the futility of writing for content mills.

This was me, trying a new career in writing a few years back and the first thing I turned to were the content mills or the writing for few paisas per words. Hoping to make our fortune by devoting all our time and writing 8 to 10 articles per day and thinking that the money will accumulate.




Unfortunately can you name one person who got rich and famous writing for content mills. I have yet to come across someone; if you know, do tell me.

Sure they work and give a lot of work to freshers and like so many other businesses they too are a business and they exploit the inexperienced by offering them lures of a great income, continuous work and even certificates for their work.

Every time you apply for a position as a fresher or a housewife looking for work, the first thing  in the mail is , " Congratulations" and the second is "A Writing Sample".

Did you ever pause to think, if they send this letter to every one who applied and got samples from even half of them them how much free content are you handing over to these mills.


You are just thankful that some one responded to your mail and has offered you work, but this very weakness is with all the  newbie writers waiting for some work.

You continue to write for a few paisa's and so does the next person and the rates never go up. 
Each year hundreds join your hunt and if you request for an increment they have a scores like you who will write for the same old measly amount.



Do you stop writing then; but how is it possible? If you don't some one else will.

Here is an example from a real mail sent out by such an employer. I am sure that by mistake the sender pressed the wrong button and the mail id of all 200, yes 200 people was visible.

What followed was the reaction and disgust of all the people who had applied for the position of content writers. I have included the screen shots of the whole conversation and ask you to judge it for yourself.


Take a look and decide do you want to be a party to this farce or strive to work for something better.


I refuse to work for peanuts and decided to spread the word that we are writers and our worth be recognized.


I find it better to write for free (read guest posts) and let people be aware of my writing skills rather than write for pocket change and hide my skills behind a big organisation.

Do you write for content mills?

Have had a similar experience?

Do share with and let others to learn from our mistakes........


This post has been written for the Ultimate Blog Challenge and have also lined it to Anything Goes On Sunday at EVERYDAY GYAAN.



Saturday, April 19, 2014

Quintessential Questions????



She is the Queen of my Heart!
She is the Queen of our House!
The Queen is not allowed to ask Questions!

Women are special creatures, pretty, sweet, soulful, emotional and loving. She adds peace and love, fun and frolic and all the good things to our homes.
In India, we even worship them as goddesses, yet when they ask a question, they are snubbed.



Women raise a doubt; they are told you do not know better.

Women raise an issue; they are told to shut up.

Women kidnapped, threatened, raped and murdered just because she found a cause and raised her voice.

A woman asks a question and she is labeled, stigmatized and ostracized.

Still we must continue to ask questions; slowly but surely progressing to the stage when all our questions, especially the uncomfortable ones are welcome.

Let us teach our daughters and sisters to ask questions.
Let us teach our brothers and sons to welcome those questions.

As grandparents, parents and relatives and friends let us all embrace the girl who is so curious and welcome her never ending queries and questions.

Quintessential Questions and Queries are always the hallmark of progress and growth and progress of an individual and a nation.



I for one am the person who will ask anything anywhere; making people squirm in their seats or saris and I love it.

Do you ask questions?

Have you ever held back from asking a question because of the fear of being snubbed?

Do you encourage your loved ones to question you and others?

Did you ask the question that is giving you sleepless nights?

Do you love asking the questions no one else does? 

Do you believe we actually have "Freedom of Speech"?


Through the month of April I am writing  along with over 2000 participants for the A to Z Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My theme for the Alphabet Challenge is WOMEN. Her multi-dimensional, multi-talented, multi-tasking  avatars. The good, the bad and the ugly; every thing you wanted to find out about women and what makes them tick!!